Happy Boxing Day 2008

Instead of Merry Christmas, I wanna wish everyone Happy Boxing Day. If you'd opened all your presents, I hope you like them all.


This year I'd spent more on Christmas presents than usual, but I am so happy to give them all away. I now can really understand why Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive. As I looked at all the presents I'd prepared, the best present is actually something intangible.


I gave someone an apology last week.


I'd been struggling with some painful memories and felt the Lord spoke to me. He said I need to apologize and ask for forgiveness. It was mid-week Wednesday afternoon, and I absolutely couldn't concentrate on my work. I decided once office hours is over I will call the person.


Little did I know, the person is also struggling with the same issue. I realised he wants to be forgiven more than I do. Although he did not say "I'm sorry, please forgive me", I told him that he is forgiven.


God knows best, and the timing was right. Instead of an apology, I'd given an even better present - forgiveness.


I always know God put him in my life to teach me how to love. And now, how to forgive.

Superb long weekend

I was so busy the entire week that I have no time at all to blog. Here’s a quick update:

Happy Hyper + Active birthday! – 04-Dec-2008

Hyper + Active are the first pair of hamsters I own and I love them to bits. This week is officially their 1 year old birth week! They were given to me on 20th Dec 07 when they’re about 2 weeks old. So this is a rough estimate of their actual birthday.

I first got them to check if my maternal instincts are really what they are – instincts – hidden and dormant (since I’d always talked about kids like they’re little devils). Surprise surprise, maternal instincts abound in me and my sis actually asked who am I throughout the whole year.

TCW asked if I’m getting some cupcakes and party poppers for a celebration. I replied yes, but never got to it.

Next week, perhaps.

Cell group meeting – 05-Dec-2008, Friday

It’s been more than 2 weeks since our last meeting and I was glad to see everyone again. Especially when EK shared her testimony about how God has blessed her with a fully paid MBA scholarship! I’m really happy for her. She’s a role model whom I really look up to – a CGL, a career woman, a wife, a mom, now a student. All simultaneously!

A real life proof that you can never out give God.

KT and MiT’s wedding – 06-Dec-2008, Saturday

My relative KT (he’s only 29, but he’s ranked as my uncle in the family tree) and his long-time gf MiT finally tied the knot!

They had a church ceremony + wedding banquet all in one day. I had to wake up at 7 AM and only hit the sack at 1 AM. But it was all fun and joy throughout the whole day, so I’m not complaining.

They are very thoughtful and placed emphasis to every detail (from the invites, to the pocket-sized calendar, to the “Ang Bao” box). Each reflects the couple’s unbridled happiness to this long awaited day when they will finally live their lives joined as one in Christ.

I absolutely can’t stand church weddings, simply because I cry too much from the thanks and love I’m witnessing. Thank you God. Thank you mom + dad. Thank you dear friends. Thank you one and only love. It’s all a condensed soap opera in 1 hour (in the good sense).

If anyone ever invites me to a church wedding please give me a corner seat and packets of tissue.

Super tired + painful – 07-Dec-2008, Sunday

I didn’t sleep well at all due to acute gastric pain. I’d been living with gastric pain for almost 8 years. It’s always due to stress+lethargy+various stuffs all at once. The pain came at night, and only subsides in the morning. I couldn’t go for Rev. John Avanzini’s service and had to catch the online telecast. I napped through dinner time (couldn’t eat much).

Maybe it’s time to go for a serious check-up at TTSH. I wonder where I’d put my doc’s letter?

Double happiness – 08-Dec-2008, Monday

I felt better today and went to NL’s house to see her new born twins. They’re so adorable! The elder bro is the more restless one. The younger bro slept soundly throughout our visit despite the din. I brought along the Nikon D70 and took a lot of photos.

DT tested the camera too and together, we agreed that my skill sucks. I am now seriously lusting over the Canon IXUS 980 IS instead.

The weather was rainy and cold, just nice for a steamy hotpot dinner buffet. DT, MT and I went to Paradiz Centre (is this how you spell it?) for a much needed gastronomical delight.

A superb long weekend indeed. And the week begins once more.

Choices

Matthew 6:33

Life is full of choices. I decided to seek everything but God 3 years ago. Today, I can feel S.A.Tan gloating at me.

I have been asking myself what kind of person I will be if I didn’t leave God. If I’d prayed a little more, believed a little more. How different my life will be today. The ending will probably be sweeter.

It’s the trial everybody will go through – who is more important in my life? God or me?

Me was more important. And I returned battered and bruised. Haha.

The journey was sweet and beautiful, and the ending, even more painful. But I thank God for the journey because it made me grow up. God knows nothing works better than experiencing it on my own.

The best part is by God's grace I am born again, and I can restart my life.

Thank God for friends

I can never thank God enough for the friends He's given me.

I went to Kinokunia after work with 2 of my colleagues. For the past 2 weeks, they're the only ones whom tried the hardest to bring back the smile on my face. Because of the situation going on in the office, the entire atmosphere is very moody. Everyone's feeling down.

I really thank God for them, making the extra effort to include me in everything.

I realised AL is excellent at counseling the hurt. She is truly God's gift to everyone, like that ray of light at the end of the tunnel. And HL, everything about her is just funny. Check out her blog Only Lon3ly.

What I should do now, is to accept the broken mirror in front of me. In time, God will give me a new one, to start afresh. As a better person.

Love needs

Anyone who knows Abraham Maslow would be familiar with his theory Hierarchy of needs. The first four levels are known as "deficit needs". In other words, they represent the lack of something. Once you have obtained enough of that thing, your need disappears.

I’d always been hungry for the love need (I’m sure everybody does). Needless to say, I got into a few unfruitful relationships for all the wrong reasons (love at first sight, opposites attracts, chemistry felt right, etc). Every time I felt that need being satisfied, when I’m no longer seeking for any better love, the other party will be in doubt. Just as I was moving from a satisfied love need to fulfill my Ego needs (career), he decided it’s time to end it. Because he wasn’t satisfied.

It wasn’t easy for me to accept this. Simply because I loved the person for whom he is, and I had eventually accepted our differences. Only God knows why we were together in the first place, and what had gone wrong down the years.

But this is all part and parcel of dating. When 2 people get together, they want to know each other better. There’s a possibility that this person may be THE ONE. But as time goes by, feelings change. Your needs changed. You begin to understand yourself better. You realized the current state of love isn’t what you wanted. Your logical mind tells you, this may not be THE ONE.

Sometimes in a desperate effort to salvage the love (at your end), you tried that last resort – to change that person into someone you will love more, to satisfy your own need. You try to get the person to have the same interests, etc.

To a large extent, this is a selfish thing to do. You may try to arouse those same interests, but interest takes time to grow. The habits may rub-off on the other party, or backfire. When you do not see the results you want, you grow frustrated.

You now do not love the person for whom he is.

Couples who have been together a long time can eventually lost the spark in the relationship, and lose sight of their common grounds – what made them click in the first place. They can try to do what I just describe above. Keeping a relationship together requires both parties to work together, and that is not an easy task. I’d never known any couple who share the exact same interests with each other.

But finding those common grounds again is very, very important. It is also a harsh reality that it may take years before you realized there’s actually nothing in common.

But when one party decides to bailout, there’s nothing much the other person can do. In the end, it is just better to let go.

To find a soul mate is not to find someone like you. But one who can see what you see, and who can see what you can’t see.

Going home

I went back to church today. I’d never felt better in a long time. It’s like a huge stone’s been lifted off my heart. It became clearer to me that this is what I’m supposed to do, wanted to do, but never done it.

Going about doing things my way for the past 3 years, all seemed like a bad dream now. I have awakened in His presence once more.

If you never step into a church or feel the Holy Spirit before, there’s no way I can describe to you how it feels like. You need to experience it yourself. You really need to have faith, let go, and believe.

And when He’s there, you know you can’t stop the tears.

Now, I can really say that I’m back for good. No more excuses.

Getting started

My friend suggested that I should try blogging to keep my mind off things.

I'm going through some rough times and this is not a bad suggestion. So here I am, starting out on my first blog.

I didn't have a lot of ideas for a title, am not sure what should I be blogging about... I went through some brain storming before sticking with "Betty Boop's Blogging".

Betty Boop is a nick an old friend gave me back in JC. I can't remember why he called me that. But thank God for friends.

It's almost 2 am and my eyes are hurting. Let's continue tomorrow.