Hyper - Dec 2007 ~ 10th July 2010
I always check on the hamsters when I reach home every evening. So when I found Hyper dead, I realized I am the only person in my family that really loves them. My sister's attention has long drifted to other hedonistic pursuits.
But what surprised me the most wasn't discovering his dead body crawling with house ants, but my lack of grief and emotion.
Why doesn't it hurt as much as losing Active? Hyper and Active are my first pair of hamsters received from a kind old friend. I still remember how small they felt, how vulnerable they looked as they lay in my palm that December day.
I knew exactly what should be done - disposed of his body and clean up the cage. I need to clear his body before the entire army of ants carries him away.
I believe the chain of hamster deaths this year has help quicken the process of accepting reality. Happen often enough, and it will be just another death. And Hyper had a peaceful composure, like he was sleeping. It was comforting to know he died of old age, instead of terminal illness (like Active).
Hyper wasn't just another pet. Writing this post brings back a lot of memories. You would think I'm crazy, but each of the hamsters makes me feel differently. I can remember my moods and the events of the day they arrived into our home. They marked a date in my life, of how our roads crossed.
The hamsters also taught me a lesson: don't regret. Treat everyone kindly and love everyone as if it is our last day on earth. Don't say hurtful things to the people you love. Those may be the last words they heard from you. Don't regret only when they are gone. Remember that your roads have crossed.
It is so easy to take things for granted. You go to work, expecting to see everyone as usual. Then suddenly a colleague died of stroke. You go home, turn on the shower, water runs. When was the last time you had your water supply cut unexpectantly? You reach home, expecting your pet to greet you as usual. But the only thing you find is a rat shell, devoid of live.
I am feeling emotional about Hyper's death now, which is what I wanted. I need to know that I can still feel and my emotions have not run dry. Being emotional makes me feel alive.
Thank you Hyper. I hope I have been a good friend and master.
I will remember all the mischief and close shaves with death you experienced, and what a charmed life you have had.
